![]() ![]() Rather than spending all the time it would take to clean your house from top to bottom, I believe it would be far more efficient to build a new one. And a refrigerator doesn’t require cleaning if you use it as I do, just to keep water cold. ![]() If you have no silver, you’ll never have to polish it. But if you never use your oven, you’ll never have to clean your oven. Spring cleaning time may be a good time to clean the oven, clean your refrigerator and polish the silver. What are they thinking? National Clean Out Your Closets Month alone takes up the entire month of January.īefore you do anything rash, consider this. However no one will believe you’ve been pickling before the cucumbers have even sprouted so I’d hold off with the vinegar until fall.įinally, you’ll notice that if you were to do everything the articles suggest-from reorganizing your spice rack to resealing your grout and cleaning out your gutters-it would take a lot longer than one week. ![]() I realize that when you use white vinegar your home smells like you do your own pickling which is bound to impress your guests. There was also a lot of talk of white vinegar in these articles. In the morning, brush then floss…I mean flush. And I did think one author’s toilet-cleaning tip was very clever: drop two denture-cleaning tablets into the bowl and let sit overnight. Most of the articles offered helpful tips. It’s obvious her house was clean before she took out the broom. Observant readers will also note that she has no dirt on her hands, no smudges on her face and no cobwebs in her neatly coiffed hair. Readers are smart enough to know that the reason she’s smiling is because she’s a well-paid model with a housecleaning service. Some even go so far as to say, “Spring cleaning can be fun!” Those are people who need more hobbies.Īlso, if there’s a photo in an article about spring cleaning, it will be of a smiling, attractive woman looking like she enjoys National Spring Cleaning Week even more than Chocolate Éclair Day, June 22. A lot of writers use words like “easy” and “a breeze” to describe it. I also noticed some common elements in articles about spring cleaning. That either means I’m part of a very elite group or that a lot of people lie to the American Cleaning Institute. The Institute, which represents producers of cleaning products, claims that only six percent of the population admit they never do any spring cleaning. Wow! I had no idea that many Americans could agree on anything, especially something so controversial. According to an organization called the American Cleaning Institute, ninety-one percent of Americans engage in spring cleaning-or say they do, though I don’t recall anyone asking me.Īnd a whopping seventy-six percent of the population claim they do it every year. I didn’t read all 665 million articles, but I did stumble on a startling statistic in one of them. Clearly I’m not the only one who would rather write about it than do it. Take the time to read them all and you won’t have time to do any cleaning for the next twelve years. If you do an internet search of spring cleaning like I did, you’ll find that there are at least 665 million results. I think you’ll find it’s much more enjoyable than doing it. Or you could skip spring cleaning altogether and just do extensive research on the subject like I’ve done. I don’t recommend that either since National Blame Someone Else Day isn’t until the first Friday the 13th of the year. You could put it off until next March and blame me. You could go ahead and do your spring cleaning in April. I realize I’ve left you with a difficult decision to make. Nevertheless, I apologize for not letting you know sooner. Plus I don’t think it’s fair that No Housework Day only gets April 7, though I’ve been known to observe it for several months at a time. We only get one day to celebrate far more important things like independence and my birthday. And even if it is worth celebrating, I think a full week is excessive. I’m not sure why anyone would celebrate cleaning anyway, spring or otherwise. Maybe because I don’t have an instinct to clean. Well, dang! I’ve just learned that the fourth Sunday of March kicked off National Spring Cleaning Week, seven glorious days set aside to celebrate our instinct to clean, and I missed it. ![]()
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